Your Mum is dead!

That’s what Master 6 announced to my sister, his aunt, when she arrived for us to spend time grieving together. He was right. Our precious Mother had passed away the night before – totally unexpectedly. CaraMum for MRLvaning with Dad in the Far North of Australia. 71 years young. Here one day and then gone.

How do you do life without someone who has always been there??

That first night, my creative spirit kicked in, probably because of the intensity of the pain. I was in uncharted waters and needed some way to express it.

“My Mother, My leader
I want her, I need her…”

The tears flowed. My blocked nose and deep sobs threatened to choke me. “I miss you, I want you, I need you, Mum!!”

Somewhere in that first night, before the morning light, Truth began to dawn. I didn’t actually NEED my precious Mother. I wanted her so badly it hurt. I missed her in a way I had never before experienced. But I didn’t NEED her.

Now my creative spirit was freed to pour out on paper.

Mum – my Mother, my Leader… this is for you. I wish I could have shared it with you here. Instead, I pray that others will share with us as we honour you and the way you lived your life to bless countless people, including us, your three daughters.

Most of all, I pray that these words would continually challenge us, and a whole generation of mothers, to follow your example and lead our children with the same excellence you did.

With more love and thanks than we could ever package.
Jenni (with Sue and Lynelle)

My mother, my leader
I watch her, I heed her.

Mum shows me the way
To live, love and pray
With kindness and care
She caresses my hair
And wipes away smudges
That someone else judges;
She sets a high standard
But is not heavy handed…

I watch her… I heed her
My mother, my leader.

She stretches a meal
And finds a good deal.
She opens our door
To both wealthy and poor;
Her welcome is warm
When folk come through a storm:
They bask in her peace
As she sets them at ease…

I watch her… I heed her
My mother, my leader.

Happily Mum works closely with Dad,
Dying to self but keeping a tad
Or her independent, fun ways
To brighten our days.
Separate but together,
I often wondered whether
I could ever become one
Like my Dad and my Mum…

I watch her… I heed her
My mother, my leader.

She’s a mum who has ample
Of time, for example,
To sit down with us
When we’re making a fuss
Or read a fun book
Before starting to cook
Or to pray by my bed
For the one I would wed…

I watch her… I heed her
My mother, my leader.

She made me aware
Of the value of care,
Not putting self first
But in Jesus immersed.
Some years were real tough
But her faith was enough:
She continued to run
And kept God number one…

Right now, I’m feeling bereft
Coz so recently for heaven she left
Oh, my mother, oh my leader
Oh, I miss her, oh I need her!

Amidst my tears, I heard the Lord
My spirit lifted, my heart it soared!
He said, “BECAUSE you watched, BECAUSE you heeded,
Now is YOUR time, Mum is less needed.
She gave you her best
Now it’s her time to rest,
She taught you her all
Now she’s heeded MY call.”

On my knees, I then vowed
I will make my Mother proud:
I’ll keep choosing the Lord’s way
Then MY children all can say,
“I watch her, I heed her
My mother, my leader.”

By Jenni Chacko


This post is a link-up to Essentially Jess and IBOT (I blog on Tuesdays).

14 comments to Your Mum is dead!

  • I’m so sorry for your loss – big hugs. How wonderful though that you know she is with Jesus!

    What a fantastic poem and beautiful tribute to your Mum. I don’t normally read/like poetry but this really touched me. I hope when I pass my kids feel the same about me.

    Visiting from #TeamIBOT xxx
    Janet @ Redland City Living recently posted…Celebrity LookalikesMy Profile

    • Jenni @ MRL

      Thanks Janet. Incredibly, this has been a faith-builder for me – amazing what God can do in us through the toughest situations!

  • I’m so sorry for your loss. This brought tears to my eyes as I know how I would feel in your shoes.
    I’m sure your mother is very proud, wherever she is, looking down on you.
    Mrs Holsby recently posted…Is a gun ever a toy?My Profile

    • Jenni @ MRL

      Thanks Danielle. From a quick look at your blog, I see that your Mum is one of your biggest life inspirations too 🙂 We are incredibly fortunate to have such awesome mothers. Enjoy every moment of time with her! Jenni

  • Lisa@Circle of Toast

    What a lovely tribute! Your mum must have been a very special lady. My deepest sympathies on your loss.
    Lisa@Circle of Toast recently posted…Evil RatbagsMy Profile

  • Ruth H

    Jen, I think going to the memorial service and hearing about your mum…and then knowing how you embody much of her qualities, inspired me to do even more as a mum to impart those good things through example.
    Thanks for being you and for your Mum being who God made her to be.
    I know we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others, but it is good to have have role models whom we can inspire to be like. Especially ones who have gone through hardships and come out the other side shining. She seemed such a ‘normal’ lady. That is the beauty of it though. Normal people can do extraordinary things. Inspiring!

    • Jenni @ MRL

      Thanks precious friend! I totally agree that she was such a ‘normal’ person 🙂 In fact, as I reflect on her life, she constantly did “little things” for people – it’s just that she was so consistent that she made an overall HUGE impact on others! Thanks for sharing how you have been inspired through all this. Jen xx

  • I think I might just call my mum on that note! Sincere sadness sorry for you loss – and I adore the poem, so heartfelt. Found you via IBOT – Emily
    Emily @ Have a laugh on me recently posted…Five interview questions I’ll be able to nail thanks to death stares, vomiting lunch boxes and five-year-old attitude!My Profile

    • Jenni @ MRL

      Thanks Emily… and yes, call your Mum! One of the great comforts in losing Mum has been that we don’t have any regrets of lost opportunities. She taught us all to grab life with both hands :)So get on the phone now! Jenni

  • So sad at your loss. My Mom is 83 now and I just dread the experience of losing her. My Dad went when I was 23.
    Lovely tribute. I am sure she is thrilled with it.
    Hugs to you.
    Jody at Six Little Hearts recently posted…Self Saucing Chocolate PuddingMy Profile

  • Jenni @ MRL

    Thanks for your comment, Jody… it is one of those things that I don’t think you can ever really prepare yourself for! We just need to make every moment count while we can. Jenni xx

  • This is so beautiful. What a wonderful legacy your mother left, particularly one of such a strong faith.
    Sorry for you loss, but what peace we have to know that it’s only separation for a little while xx
    EssentiallyJess recently posted…This DayMy Profile

    • Jenni @ MRL

      Thanks for stopping by Jess. It has been soooo hard but I have learnt so much and my faith is only stronger. Just learning now how to live in this ‘new normal’ 🙂 Liked your post about watching Safe Haven too – it’s good for us to stop and reflect on these things. Jenni xx

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