Reframing: use it to improve your mothering

Just had an epiphany!

I’ve been facebooking about the leadership skill of “reframing” but haven’t been able to draw much response from our FB community. Logically, that should encourage me to drop it and move on to the next topic but, well, you know… ok, so my intuitive nature means that logic doesn’t always drive my decision making 🙂

My had-it-just-now epiphany? This whole blog and community is built on reframing!

To say that “Mothers Are Leaders” goes to the very core of reframing. It’s outside the generally accepted frame of motherhood… changing nappies, teaching household chores and managing tantrums  doesn’t usually come into the same frame as leadership. (Unless you are bold enough to reframe your thinking like we do here.)

Definition:

To reframe is to  stop and look at an everyday situation from a different perspective.

One way we reframe in our family. This has helped manage our huge spectrum of ability! And it develops healthy respect for "smarts" that are different to your own :)

One way we reframe in our family. This has helped manage our huge spectrum of ability! And it develops healthy respect for “smarts” that are different to your own 🙂

That doesn’t sound too hard, does it? Reframing is about training ourselves to see our role , our work, and our children more broadly and from different perspectives.

Mum, Mom, I can guarantee that you will become a better mother by developing reframing skills.  So start with these ideas and see how your mothering improves:

  • Find your current “frame”.  No one can anticipate and prepare for all that being a Mother involves, but you CAN learn from your experiences.  Reflect on what you do and how you do it, what works well and what doesn’t. This is about learning to recognise the current frame you have. Growth and change always starts with understanding where we are currently at.
  • Find Mentors – Books, Blog or Beings.  Skillful leaders regularly and actively seek information and advice from books, blogs or (human) beings. Turn off your defensive radar and listen to alternative ways to view situations. This will help you decide how you can best “reframe” a situation. (Side benefit: You will be so much richer for it and genuinely seeking someone’s participation and involvement will only deepen their commitment to your family and to your success as a mother.)
  • Step outside your comfort zone.  Someone said that the definition of stupid is doing the same thing and expecting different results. But we do it all the time because to try something different requires us to step outside our comfort zone!!
  • Practise your reframing skills.  It’s one thing to read about reframing or other leadership skills and another whole challenge to do it. Work through scenarios in your head and then find small opportunities to practice and strengthen your new skill in reframing.
  • Find growth opportunities.  After practising, deliberately take on bigger opportunities to build your skills. (Maybe tackle a bigger behavioural issue you have with one of the kids.) You’ll definitely enhance your skills by regularly and reflectively practicing your craft, in our case, being an awesome Mother-Leader.

So there you have it: the leadership skill of reframing for Mother-Leaders! If you have a question about a situation you think would benefit from reframing, ask in the comments below. xxxx

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